On November 28th Darren and I celebrated 9 years of legally binding marriage. For those who are from China or lived there before then you probably know what this means. It's one of the functions of the life Darren and I chose, naively ,when we were in our twenties.
"Why don't we get married in China?"
"Sure, that sounds great!"
And away we went. For those who haven't heard the story it involves 10 taxis, a patient Chinese friend translating, a humilating physical exam that determined we were ok to breed, and a patridge in a pear tree.
How did we, given all that, choose to give birth in Shenyang about a year and a half after that experiance? I do not know. That experiance however, has been good for some laughs as well.
What all of this means is that in addition to carry around an American and Australian passport for both boys, we also carry a Chinese birth certificate, and an American consular report of birth abroad.
This doesn't get us started on our marriage. At the end of the 10 taxis etc... we had to wait four weeks for a telephone call to Darren that said our marriage paperwork had come through the system. Darren turn to me,( I was cooking and he had been mashing potatoes for the big Thanksgiving Dinner in Shenyang), and said, " Our marriage paperwork has come through."
I didn't really react. I was in the middle of a project and I was happy but what did this mean anyway. We still had the wedding ceremony exactly a month away so...
Then Darren says, " So now we are legally married, you know if we got cold feet now and didn't go through with it we would actually have to get a divorce."
Ok, so I admit that got through. That was a bit more shocking. That was serious.
Consequently after our wedding ceremony Darren asked which anniversary we should celebrate. I didn't care as long as it was one of them and it didn't have to be the same one each year. Darren has never failed to remember both every year.
The rest of the story is that we have two marriage certificates. Both in Chinese, and one of which lists me as Chinese. In addition we have the official translation and in addition to that we have the official translation which was recently registered at a court house in Colorado.
This is the paperwork we carry with us every time we travel as a family.
Airport officials love us.
Su Jia Tun
Su Jia Tun
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
The Sunflower by My Bank
I was working in my office. I had been at it for awhile so my colleague did have to repeat herself a few times before I believed that what I had heard her say was what she had actually said. There was a large sunflower outside the bank our business uses. Thank goodness I didn't have to make any deposits that day. 
It was not the first though. A month earlier I had priviledged to encounter cows in the city on the way to my bus stop after getting off the train. Apparently Aussies have a thing for marketing schemes that involve large flora and fauna. Just in case you are wondering the cows was actually a campaign which in my mind qualifies as marketing. Additionally, I hadn't had my coffee yet so the cows did throw me off a bit. It took me until the second day to actually get a picture and because I hadn't had my coffee first thing the second day either I still didn't get a picture right away.
It's fun. It's quarky. Quite frankly both events made my day cause anything this big and furry is bound to cause you to want to stop and stare. Accounts, spreadsheets, databases, and airline tickets can get very boring. No one can really say men in cow and sunflower suits is boring.
Friday, October 1, 2010
By Cindy
“Transition” is a complicated word. I personally think that “transition” is a euphemism that gives a really nice label to a basically unpleasant or challenging experience. After all, the worst part of labor is gently described as “transition”. How ironic.
When a woman in labor undergoes “transition” there is a quiet understanding that she may yell, disown her husband, throw things or in general act a bit crazy. People going through a life “transition” often come across equally stressed C though hopefully they restrain from throwing things.
No doubt, transition marks a difficult season where irritability, uncertainty and stress run higher than normal. But, what makes transition so challenging? Mainly the difficulty lies with going from what is known to what is not known. Particularly when a family moves to a new city / country, individuals go from being well-known to being a stranger. Before the transition, roles and routines are established. In the new location, others are not yet aware of the many gifts and skills that the new individuals bring.
Additionally, developing meaningful friendships takes time. It’s easy to be discouraged as one compares the depth of the relationships left behind to the new, entry-level relationships. However, the new relationships will certainly over time deepen and become as meaningful, if not more than the ones left behind.
One of the keys to weathering the transition experience is to remember that it is indeed a season. Over time, routines are established, and individuals find their place in the community. Over time, the individual / family realizes that they belong to the new location, just as they belonged in the former location. At this point, the new location takes on the feeling of home.
Reminding oneself that the transition will not last forever will hopefully minimize the stress experienced. It can be helpful to look back on other life transitions and recall how those situations eventually became normal and enjoyable.
I would suggest two other reminders that can help ease the discomfort of transition. First, remember the key reasons that the Lord led you to the transition in the first place. Unless the transition was initiated by some unplanned trauma, there were likely many positive factors that led to the decision to make a life change. Remembering, or even journaling those factors can help reignite the excitement and energy needed for the transition period. Even if excitement does not follow, you can rest with the knowledge that you are taking a step of faith that the Lord has initiated in your life.
Finally, the most comforting reminder is focusing on the Lord’s faithfulness throughout your life. In Scripture there are several occasions where the Lord recommends that the Israelites build an altar, or gather “stones of remembrance”. These stones not only represent worship of the Lord, but also they provide key reminders of times when the Lord proved faithful. Sometimes in the midst of trials, we can’t immediately feel the Lord’s closeness. We may be able to intellectually ascent to His “faithfulness”, but our hearts may not be ready to agree. Going back over significant times of the Lord’s faithfulness can calm our hearts, and re-focus our minds. Often tracing God’s past faithfulness highlights some of the key Spiritual themes that He is teaching during this time of transition.
Transition isn’t always a fun word. But, I believe it is a tool that God richly uses to shape and strengthen our faith. He loosens our grasp on the familiar and certain. As a result we grip desperately to His hand and become more fully dependent on Him. We have to walk through some murky and churning waters (Joshua 3-4), but in the end we carry out of the experience another stone to add to the altar of our lives C where we tangibly see His faithfulness.
- Cindy Post
When a woman in labor undergoes “transition” there is a quiet understanding that she may yell, disown her husband, throw things or in general act a bit crazy. People going through a life “transition” often come across equally stressed C though hopefully they restrain from throwing things.
No doubt, transition marks a difficult season where irritability, uncertainty and stress run higher than normal. But, what makes transition so challenging? Mainly the difficulty lies with going from what is known to what is not known. Particularly when a family moves to a new city / country, individuals go from being well-known to being a stranger. Before the transition, roles and routines are established. In the new location, others are not yet aware of the many gifts and skills that the new individuals bring.
Additionally, developing meaningful friendships takes time. It’s easy to be discouraged as one compares the depth of the relationships left behind to the new, entry-level relationships. However, the new relationships will certainly over time deepen and become as meaningful, if not more than the ones left behind.
One of the keys to weathering the transition experience is to remember that it is indeed a season. Over time, routines are established, and individuals find their place in the community. Over time, the individual / family realizes that they belong to the new location, just as they belonged in the former location. At this point, the new location takes on the feeling of home.
Reminding oneself that the transition will not last forever will hopefully minimize the stress experienced. It can be helpful to look back on other life transitions and recall how those situations eventually became normal and enjoyable.
I would suggest two other reminders that can help ease the discomfort of transition. First, remember the key reasons that the Lord led you to the transition in the first place. Unless the transition was initiated by some unplanned trauma, there were likely many positive factors that led to the decision to make a life change. Remembering, or even journaling those factors can help reignite the excitement and energy needed for the transition period. Even if excitement does not follow, you can rest with the knowledge that you are taking a step of faith that the Lord has initiated in your life.
Finally, the most comforting reminder is focusing on the Lord’s faithfulness throughout your life. In Scripture there are several occasions where the Lord recommends that the Israelites build an altar, or gather “stones of remembrance”. These stones not only represent worship of the Lord, but also they provide key reminders of times when the Lord proved faithful. Sometimes in the midst of trials, we can’t immediately feel the Lord’s closeness. We may be able to intellectually ascent to His “faithfulness”, but our hearts may not be ready to agree. Going back over significant times of the Lord’s faithfulness can calm our hearts, and re-focus our minds. Often tracing God’s past faithfulness highlights some of the key Spiritual themes that He is teaching during this time of transition.
Transition isn’t always a fun word. But, I believe it is a tool that God richly uses to shape and strengthen our faith. He loosens our grasp on the familiar and certain. As a result we grip desperately to His hand and become more fully dependent on Him. We have to walk through some murky and churning waters (Joshua 3-4), but in the end we carry out of the experience another stone to add to the altar of our lives C where we tangibly see His faithfulness.
- Cindy Post
The good, the bad and the mmmmmm???
Well, what to say? It's been awhile and not because there hasn't been anything to talk about but more because I have been so busy working at a full time job that I love but that also wears me the heck out. I reach the end of the day and just really want to sit in front of the T.V. like a zombie.
I spent the first month at my job feeling completely underwater and the next one freaking out because now I was on my own and now today feeling mmmm???, well...better. This is is probably exactly what everyone was trying to tell me would happen but which I wasn't sure actually would.
Today was walk to work day so what did I do? Tick tock tick tock tick tock... Times up! I drove and thanked my stars and the Australian obsession with living a healthy lifestyle that I got to work in 45 minutes. HA! Suckers who fell for a "Walk to Work Day".
Well ok that may not say very much about me but first of all I am American and therefore have no obsession with living a healthy lifestyle. Furthermore it would take me an entire day to walk to work.
What I did not realize and what was pointed out to me by the lovely announcers on my radio station, ( yes when you drive 45 minutes each way everyday to work and back you quickly pick a radio station whether you only been here 3 months or not), I could have walked to the train station. Oops!
So I went for an hour long walk at lunch and made up for my slothfulness. And while I walked I looked at these palatial houses and thought,"I bet there are people in these houses that are unhappy and can't even appreciate that they come down every night to these beautiful houses in the old brick neighborhood with their beautiful flowers and lawns". Then I realized that this very same country produces the people who buy into a walk to work day. They also let people in before them, even in a traffic jam where they have been stuck for an hour. They have a government that is seriously considering a carbon tax and the current gov. leadership is actually saying they will do this.
Then I thought about how my Chinese friends would react these houses and neighborhoods where you don't see anyone for 15 or 20 minutes at a time and where only two people live in a house that is really more than adequate for 20. I think about the chatty taxi drivers in China, the way people would fight over the bill with their friends, and the delicious food. Ok, maybe the food was beside the point.
So in the end I think if I could successfully mix together the Chinese, American, Native American, and Australian cultural strengths and make one culture with all those then that would be pretty good and maybe I should really try to do that.
Probably that was what God meant for the world to be like only with all the different strengths of all the different cultures.
All that makes me think mmmmm????... I have now walked too far and it's going to, by accident, take me far longer to walk back all the way I came. Hence the hour long walk. See you thought I was purposely healthy there for awhile.
I spent the first month at my job feeling completely underwater and the next one freaking out because now I was on my own and now today feeling mmmm???, well...better. This is is probably exactly what everyone was trying to tell me would happen but which I wasn't sure actually would.
Today was walk to work day so what did I do? Tick tock tick tock tick tock... Times up! I drove and thanked my stars and the Australian obsession with living a healthy lifestyle that I got to work in 45 minutes. HA! Suckers who fell for a "Walk to Work Day".
Well ok that may not say very much about me but first of all I am American and therefore have no obsession with living a healthy lifestyle. Furthermore it would take me an entire day to walk to work.
What I did not realize and what was pointed out to me by the lovely announcers on my radio station, ( yes when you drive 45 minutes each way everyday to work and back you quickly pick a radio station whether you only been here 3 months or not), I could have walked to the train station. Oops!
So I went for an hour long walk at lunch and made up for my slothfulness. And while I walked I looked at these palatial houses and thought,"I bet there are people in these houses that are unhappy and can't even appreciate that they come down every night to these beautiful houses in the old brick neighborhood with their beautiful flowers and lawns". Then I realized that this very same country produces the people who buy into a walk to work day. They also let people in before them, even in a traffic jam where they have been stuck for an hour. They have a government that is seriously considering a carbon tax and the current gov. leadership is actually saying they will do this.
Then I thought about how my Chinese friends would react these houses and neighborhoods where you don't see anyone for 15 or 20 minutes at a time and where only two people live in a house that is really more than adequate for 20. I think about the chatty taxi drivers in China, the way people would fight over the bill with their friends, and the delicious food. Ok, maybe the food was beside the point.
So in the end I think if I could successfully mix together the Chinese, American, Native American, and Australian cultural strengths and make one culture with all those then that would be pretty good and maybe I should really try to do that.
Probably that was what God meant for the world to be like only with all the different strengths of all the different cultures.
All that makes me think mmmmm????... I have now walked too far and it's going to, by accident, take me far longer to walk back all the way I came. Hence the hour long walk. See you thought I was purposely healthy there for awhile.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Lost my keys in a post office today.
How many times have I lost my keys in the last week? Well maybe I won't say because it might be too embarassing.
Moving on to the other moments that are teaching me how to be adaptable to the "new" factor.
"What is a Learning Journey?", mmmmm and the teacher's answer is, " A journey of learning for parents", and what for it, " It was in the newsletter." Hee Hee Uh???
For those who are wondering what a Learning Journey is it's an Open House and we needed to subscribe to the newsletter which comes automatically to your email. That is, of course, if you have subscribed to it. I am beginning to understand what it means to be the new parents in town.
Can you imagine a place where the teacher's completley rearrange thier schedules so that all kids can go to 45 minute swim lessons everyday for two weeks?
Not only that but the kids walk to the classes. The Americans out there will understand my complete amazment at this. Seriously there days where I feel like Dorothy in Oz but no one gave me Ruby Slippers.
When did I start driving to work everyday and isn't it funny how so many of the people around me take this simple action for granted?
I can buy donuts EVERYDAY!
There is a DISHWASHER in the kitchen!
I can buy fresh pizza bases at the supermarket WHENEVER and they cost the same as if I made them from scratch. MMMmmm
Highlight of the week was the Wanneroo Markets which is like a little Wu Ai Jie with stuff and produce. It is even full of chinese people. Made me feel like maybe I found little Ruby Flip-Flops instead which were quite nice.
How many times have I lost my keys in the last week? Well maybe I won't say because it might be too embarassing.
Moving on to the other moments that are teaching me how to be adaptable to the "new" factor.
"What is a Learning Journey?", mmmmm and the teacher's answer is, " A journey of learning for parents", and what for it, " It was in the newsletter." Hee Hee Uh???
For those who are wondering what a Learning Journey is it's an Open House and we needed to subscribe to the newsletter which comes automatically to your email. That is, of course, if you have subscribed to it. I am beginning to understand what it means to be the new parents in town.
Can you imagine a place where the teacher's completley rearrange thier schedules so that all kids can go to 45 minute swim lessons everyday for two weeks?
Not only that but the kids walk to the classes. The Americans out there will understand my complete amazment at this. Seriously there days where I feel like Dorothy in Oz but no one gave me Ruby Slippers.
When did I start driving to work everyday and isn't it funny how so many of the people around me take this simple action for granted?
I can buy donuts EVERYDAY!
There is a DISHWASHER in the kitchen!
I can buy fresh pizza bases at the supermarket WHENEVER and they cost the same as if I made them from scratch. MMMmmm
Highlight of the week was the Wanneroo Markets which is like a little Wu Ai Jie with stuff and produce. It is even full of chinese people. Made me feel like maybe I found little Ruby Flip-Flops instead which were quite nice.
Monday, August 23, 2010
More important than the 30 second answer to, "How was China?", is the 30 second answer to,"How are you adjusting to _____?". I know we asked people that all the time when they moved to China and the thing is they seemed to have the answer but I fumble around for a minute trying to figure out what to say. So how about it, those who have done this before, what is the answer to that question when you move back?
My answer is usually the thing I just accomplished that was on my to do list for things I needed to do to settle in. Well...I got my license. Well... I have a job. As long as they don't ask what the job is we are doing well because it is equally hard to explain. Well...all our boxes have arrived. The thing is I am not sure that answers the question of how we, as a family, are adjusting to life in a strange new land.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Wow Life Goes On
Starting week 6 days ago and I have 4 weeks to learn everything. I liked it so much better being the person who knew how things were supposed to go than being the person asking for help all the time. I remember how dependent I was on people when I first moved to China but going through it all again is always harder than you can really imagine.
It's amazing though how having something to focus your attention so completley helps you to get into a pace that makes life feel more normalized. In some ways the adjustments are passing me by too quickly as I forget to cherish the freakish moments that still happen. For instance, yesterday I walked down the street to the new's agents,(for non-aussies this is a place that sells mainly newspapers and magazines),and heard Chinese being spoken by the two ladies who work in the shop. I quickly jumped in and we talked for a bit. I discovered that they speak Chinese but are from Malaysia and am still very happy that if I choose I can just walk down the street to practice my Chinese.
I said, "Dui Bu Qi", to a random man I bumped into getting off the train on my way to work. Turns out some situations wake up my Chinese language instincts more than others and large crowds bumping into eachother is one of those situations...naturally.
My co-worker who is also Japanese told me this morning that she had eaten a mooncake and I rejoiced for whose knows what reason because I never ate mooncake in China. But there I am paying attention to the directions and seriously considering going to buy one. By the way my new boss also spent time in China. It makes me feel like a little less of a freak when I go to get my hot water in the afternoon.
It's amazing though how having something to focus your attention so completley helps you to get into a pace that makes life feel more normalized. In some ways the adjustments are passing me by too quickly as I forget to cherish the freakish moments that still happen. For instance, yesterday I walked down the street to the new's agents,(for non-aussies this is a place that sells mainly newspapers and magazines),and heard Chinese being spoken by the two ladies who work in the shop. I quickly jumped in and we talked for a bit. I discovered that they speak Chinese but are from Malaysia and am still very happy that if I choose I can just walk down the street to practice my Chinese.
I said, "Dui Bu Qi", to a random man I bumped into getting off the train on my way to work. Turns out some situations wake up my Chinese language instincts more than others and large crowds bumping into eachother is one of those situations...naturally.
My co-worker who is also Japanese told me this morning that she had eaten a mooncake and I rejoiced for whose knows what reason because I never ate mooncake in China. But there I am paying attention to the directions and seriously considering going to buy one. By the way my new boss also spent time in China. It makes me feel like a little less of a freak when I go to get my hot water in the afternoon.
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